It is awkward to have discussions in class for me, particularly ones that relate to race. I feel my age. Not in a bad way. But that I find myself getting more and more jaded about the world and yet I enjoy watching the excitement of discovery when the other students learn or feel something strong when it deals with class, race and economic struggles in the South. I am not a spokesperson for the black people of South Carolina, but we share a legacy that has impacted in a uniquely common way.
I am a Yankee. My father is from the south, but if you asked him, he would say he was Yankee. My mother is from New Jersey. Discussions about race are personal for me and I am self-conscious. I am obviously the product of a mixed-race union. I was raised by hippies and when I was a kid, I thought nothing of civil rights marches and political rallies. I lived the civil rights struggle. I remember the time I saw some girls I played with marching on the opposite side of road, marching against racial unity and equality, and we never spoke again. I didn't speak to them. They never spoke to me, but a line had been drawn for us and we knew there was no compromise.
I was the ONLY child of color in my classes for most of my elementary school years. Children were told not to play with me and my sisters; we weren't invited to parties; we were called names; and teachers were openly prejudiced. My sensitivity is heightened and I hope I don't die with the chip that still resides on my shoulder. I want to make my children aware and proud of their mixed heritage, but I don't want to give them pieces of my chip.
Going to Bamberg is a way for me to help, just a little, and make things right for all the people of Bamberg, regardless of race. But yes, I am conscious of my duty to my people, my fellow black folk. My duty is to help them find a way to be heard and to REPRESENT. Represent means to not embarrass them and be a postive reflection on the rich soul of the black people. That is a heavy burden and I feel it every day. I am scared and excited to get on with it and learn how to help heal old wounds via the design workshop.
1 comment:
Number one- your age should actually help us in this process because you have life experiences that many of us do not have. While we may be "mature," most of us are just starting to figure out how messed up the world is. We have been exposed to racial issues, but we haven't really learned how to handle conflict and resolve racial issues in the public realm, nor have we been exposed on how to resolve any real world problems in the public light- this is our chance to gain that experience- hopefully, we will do it well! I am hoping that your life experiences can help me in my life experiences and understanding of the world. You are passionate about correcting the disconnect between age and race, and your passion is what makes change happen. So voice your opinions because perspective is necessary to make change happen.
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